A Son’s Reckoning with Personal and Collective Trauma in America
When psychologist Tim Lewis was twenty-eight years old, his father shot his mother while she was sleeping in his childhood bedroom. He then turned the gun on himself.
As Lewis sat in the hospital room while his mother was pronounced dead, his friends and family seemed to have only one question for him: “How could this happen?” This book is his attempt at an answer.
Daddy is the story of Dr. Lewis’ trauma, substance abuse, and lifelong dedication to PTSD research, but it also turns out to be the story of America.
Central to the book is the question of personal responsibility in the perpetration of domestic abuse and other forms of violence—including war.
What happens to a person as they experience trauma?
Are they in control as they are being traumatized?
When the trauma cycle results in them being abusive later in life, are they fully in control then?
How come some victims become abusers and others don’t?
There are no easy answers to these questions, but in Daddy, Dr. Lewis explores possible conclusions through the history of his own trauma, his father’s upbringing and time-fighting in World War II, the United States’ troubling past of slavery, misogyny, war, and systemic oppression, and the varied definitions of PTSD and conceptions of childhood trauma.
Betty White also makes an appearance.
Ships November 2023
How many of us are fighting someone else’s war?
Dr. Lewis' father returned from WWII to get married, start a family, build a family home, and generally fulfill the American dream. Why did he take it all away? Was he fully in control of his actions?
The Founding Fathers who signed the Declaration of Independence assuring that “all men are created equal” were also men who beat and enslaved human beings. If we can for a moment see our whole nation as a single person whose guiding principle is this document, what does it mean for our founding principles to be so rife with delusion and cognitive dissonance? In what way is our culture itself traumatized and forever oscillating back and forth—like a traumatized person presenting Borderline Personality Disorder—between victim and perpetrator?
Finally, through therapy, meditation, education, and radical acceptance, can PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and other issues related to trauma be cured for good? Can we help ourselves and those in our lives to leave their pasts behind and re-emerge as more caring, more present, and less troubled individuals?
About Tim Lewis
Tim Lewis, Psy.D received his doctorate from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California, in 2009. He is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in San Francisco. Dr. Lewis also holds a B.A. in English and American literature from the University of Miami, Florida.
Having undergone a number of traumatic experiences in his own life, Dr. Lewis is particularly focused on issues related to men’s health and the treatment of trauma and PTSD. His personal and professional goal is to help people overcome life-altering experiences so that they might develop purpose-driven, fulfilling lives. Dr. Lewis shares his life with his husband, Steve, their 11-year-old daughter, Gemma, and their cat of extraordinary character, Elsa. This is his first book.
In his words. . .
I happened to be the only other person in the house when my parents' murder-suicide occurred. Thankfully, I didn’t directly witness the shootings. My father didn’t leave a note and none of us knew exactly why he did it or why he chose that particular moment. As a result, I developed what I would only come to later identify as PTSD— which can often be associated with suicidal thoughts.
It wasn’t as though I was the picture of mental health when it happened. At the time, I was still casting about in life, trying to find direction. I’d struggled over my sexuality and relied way too much on drugs and alcohol to cope with depression and my father’s emotional abuse. The AIDS crisis was in full bloom and I was in the process of losing two of my closest friends.
After my parents' deaths, these issues metastasized into a state of dysfunction that paralyzed me for many years. To make a long story short, I finally got my act together. It would take a great deal of perseverance and luck to achieve the hallmarks of a fulfilling life—a stable, seventeen-year relationship, a remarkable 11-year-old daughter, and a challenging, satisfying career.
Much of Daddy involves how I got from there to here, but for me, the most surprising part of this project was my work piecing together my father’s motives and life experience. A veteran of some of the most fierce fighting during WWII, my father suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) thirty-five years before it was even given a name—much less effective treatment. As part of my research for the book, I learned everything I could about trauma and PTSD. I also came to appreciate how enduring systems of social oppression generate and perpetuate individual and collective trauma, setting the stage for the roles my parents' would play in life and death.
This cover photo is a real picture of Dr. Lewis’ father, Oscar, as a child.
Pre-order Daddy today.
Pages: 400
Format: Hardcover
Dimensions: 6x9
ISBN: 979-8-9860260-2-2
A Tapestry
In Daddy, Lewis takes readers on his journey to better understand his parents' lives, his trauma, and his country. This stitches together an extensive and unique history of PTSD. In varying detail, the book covers:
Hypnotism
Borderline Personality Disorder
Hysteria
The AIDs epidemic
Homosexuality
Homophobia
Lepers
Electric Shock Therapy
Slavery
Indentured Servants
Christianity
Colonialism
Stockholm Syndrome
The Vietnam War
Radical Acceptance
The Wild West
Substance Abuse
Meditation
Sigmund Freud
Brainwashing
Disaster Movies
Meditation
World War II
Bullying